Cursing, rape and Pornography
I wrote about my first masturbation at 12 and circle jerk at 14. 13 in 63 is another true story. First i come from a small town in California. Moved to NY in 60. Never heard a curse word until we moved to NY. A cock was a Winnie and and ass hole was a poop hole. When i went to school in Brooklyn at the age of 10. I heard words like fuck, mother fucker, cocksucker, shit, cunt and other words. We were living at my father's parents home for 4 months when we arrived in NY. One night at the dinner table, food was being passed around. I said to my grandmother "please pass some of that shit" I was referring to the meat plater. My father yelled at me and said I don't want to hear you say that again. I had no idea what shit was i just repeated what I heard kids say in the lunchroom. Next I said pass the "fuck'in mash potatoes" my grandmother was shocked and my father pulled me from the table and threaten to put soap down my throat. He did explain what these words were, but I quickly learned and my first innocence's was lost.
We kept moving around so I never was able to have friends. At 13 we moved to a community in Queens, NY. I was a loaner, shy, a hick and immature. One day I saw a girl I will refer to as L.D. she was walking a group of dogs. I went over to her and started a conversation about the dogs. We developed a friendship and I would go with her on the dog walks. Every day we would walk down a certain street pass a certain house. L.D. told me that this guy who I will call E. lived in this house and she had a crush on him. We were in the 7th grade and he was in the ninth. She wanted to go out with him. E had 3 close friends A,D, and S. These guys would pick on me at the bus stop going to school. One day L.D. said to me I'm getting a date with E, but I need to meet A,D,and S at the play ground and asked me to come with her. I said OK,
as we got close I said "why are we going to the playground." she said I made a deal for my date with E. and I you need to be here. I said what's going on, she said I have to do something for the date. I said what and she said I have to suck A cock for one minute and you have to be there and watch. I thought she was crazy and I said I want no part of this and I'm leaving. She said if you leave our friendship is over. As I left the three came walking in and asked where I was going, I said home. The said you are going to watch L suck my cock. I tried to leave and two of the guys grabbed my arm and started twisting it behind my back and pulled my hair and said you are going to watch. Well A pulled out his cock and she got on her knees and started sucking on it for a minute. A put it back in his pants and said you earned your date with E. i was so upset I didn't know if I should tell my parents. I went home and never told my parents what happened. I felt strange and couldn't figure out how I got myself involed. A couple of weeks later my family went on a long weekend as did E family accept for E. When I went to school I heard rumors that L.D. spent that weekend being fucked by all four all weekend. I told my mother I think you need to talk with her I think L.D. I think she's doing something that might be trouble. I didn't say what I heard. My mother spoke to her and she was pissed that I had said something to my mother. I told her I said she should have a talk with you because you like my mother.
One night we were leaving an evening after school program. We passed an ally way home, A,D, and S were hiding behind some parked cars near the ally way as we passed. A grabbed L.D. and pulled her into the ally. D and S grabbed me and again twisted my arm behind my back and S put his arm around my neck and said your going to suck your girlfriends tits. A pulled her shirt over her head and pulled down her bra. This was the first time I saw real bare tits, she was big breasted with small pointed nipples. These guys were trying to dragged me towards her and said you are going to suck those nipples and rub your face on her tits.. I was fighting to get loose. She screamed don't you touch me. I somehow managed to kick one of the guys in his balls and he let a scream and let loose and they took off. L.D. put on her shirt and fixed her bra. I again went home went to my room shaking and scared. I was wondering if I should tell my parents. Then I was wondering what was wrong with me, I could have had my first sexual experience. I never told my parents. i finally told one my therapist many many years later. Some times I wish I could go back and maybe I should have sucked those tits.
We moved many more times. In one of our moves I ended up visiting the High School LD and I would have attended. I asked these guys if they knew L.D. and they said you know her? did you Do Her to. She is the Queen Whore of the High School. Guys fuck her and get blow jobs when they can't score with their girlfriends she's a cheap fucking whore. I just shook my head and thought I knew her when she gave her first blow job. Years later I would tell my dad about her, but not about the blow job or the rape.
Anything that I write is factual and I know this must seem like fiction, but i was a fucked up teenager and at19 was considering suicide.
Now comes the pornography.
At 14, I learned that my family was in the pornography business when it was illegal. in 60's. One night my father got a call from a relative who was a New City police detective who was one of the arresting officers for selling pornography. My father had to go into Manhattan to arrange bail. My mother told my sister and me that the family was involved in an illegal business selling sexual picture and movies. She said your going to read about this in the papers and see it on the news and your going to see our last name. Do not say anything to anyone. She then told us all the family members that were part of pornography concession in a building. I had mentioned in another story all of my family members spent time in jail accept my dad because he was able to work out a deal as my mother was dying. I will add one more thing to his story. My father would tell me all the famous people that he sold porno to. At first I didn't believe him, but we went to one Manhattan Apartment to drop off some porn and his bathroom wall was wallpapered in porn. Went to a Broadway show and a celerity was walking down the isle and he noticed my dad and stopped. His famous wife and kids went to their seats. I couldn't believe my father was telling me he knew these people. I had ringside seats at Sunnyside Gardens to a fight because a certain well known fighter purchased his porn from my dad. . If I could mention names you'd be shocked, but remember this was back in the 60's. I promised my dad I would never mention any names and I will take this to my grave.
My next story will be working and the porn business.