I fantasise about becoming a porn star
I’m 23, I’ve only had one boyfriend; I was a member of the Christian Union at my university (I still kind of half-believe); I lost my virginity at age 21.
Despite all this, I would really like to appear in a porn film. Any kind of porn film.
Why does this appeal to me so much?
Honestly, I would like to see if I could go through with it. I would like to see how everyone acted around me when I turned up (the naughty girl who was going to get naked and have sex on camera). Would I stay cool, or would I be a nervous wreck? Would I look sexy, or would I seem ridiculous? Supposing there was more than one guy in the scene? Supposing there was a group of guys? When I get nervous I go red and find it really hard to talk. Would I just be this nervous, shaking, silent girl, buried under a pile of guys?
I visit sites and think about sending an email and finding out if they would be interested in filming me, how much they would pay, what I would have to do... The thought of it is driving me crazy...