Almost...Caught ( No Sex )
My wife had gone to bed, it was late. I sneaked downstairs with my binoculars, and put on black jeans, and a black, long-sleeved tee, and my black Nikes. I poured another tumbler of Grey Goose, drained it, and finished a roach of the green kush. Then, I sneaked out the back door to begin my nefarious activity.
The scalding hot summer day had not lost its' heat or humidity to the darkness. I was dressed for concealment not comfort. Knowing my immediate neighbors had already turned in for the night, I ranged further out into other neighborhoods. I knew my targets well, who had dogs, who didn't, who had easy access for viewing, who kept blinds and curtains closed. I eased up to a brightly lit bathroom window of a single mom of two, a cute little redhead, but she was already in her pajamas, brushing her teeth. The light went out, and I ducked away.
I worked in a parts house , and we had been quite busy, thus, very stressed out. The more stressed I got, the more I hated people. The more I hated people, the more I window peeped. I stared into an older couple's home from a hedge on the edge of their property. I had seen the old lady sucking the old man's dick, once, but not much else. They were watching t.v. and I moved on.
A row of townhomes had provided good targets in the past. A wooded area backed up to them, providing cover. Sadly, I watched two different couples in undies and nighties going to bed, shutting off lights. Looked like I was too late on this particular night. I caught a brief glimpse of a naked couple getting into bed. She had a fine ass, a hairy pussy, and small tits. He was skinny, with a big cock. Lights out, fuck me !
Down the way, a new row of townhomes had been recently built and were newly occupied. I watched them for several minutes before walking the wood line behind them. My pervy prowler peeper senses told me it was risky, checking out a new place, but, an upstairs light came on, and a tanned woman in a towel came into view. I got closer, and peered through the binoculars. She looked to be in her twenties, spikey punk hairdo, some ink on her back and shoulders. The towel came off, and she had decent tits, maybe 30c's , a great ass, a shaved pussy, muscular legs. The sight of bare female flesh excited me to the point of lapsed judgement. I moved even closer, crossing some sandy ground to a lone palm tree. I had just lifted the binoculars to my eyes when a voice shouted, " HEY MOTHERFUCKER ! " I looked towards a darkened screen porch, the first floor of the townhome. I could, vaguely make out a figure there. " WHATCHU DOIN' BACK THERE ? " I turned and fled. "GODDAMN YOU ! " he yelled. I stuck to the tree line, retracing my steps, careful not to trip. I hadn't gone fifty yards, and I heard him yell, " I GOT MY GUN ! " I looked over my shoulder, and saw a flashlight wavering wildly. Then, I saw a bright flash, a gun report "KA-POW !" , and simultaneously heard something rip through tree branches over my head. My sprint went into overdrive.
I wasn't in what you'd call good physical shape, but, blind fear sent a surge of adrenalin through my veins. I realized I was headed straight back to my house, and thought to veer off course, to throw him off. Another shot sounded and the bullet smacked a palm tree ten feet away. I lurched to the right, and ran between two houses, right past the first townhomes. I ran an extra hundred yards just to fool him, winding through strange back yards, upsetting at least two family dogs, leaping fences. I managed to finally get to my house, approaching it from behind. I got in the downstairs back door and went to the laundry room, tearing off my clothes, putting them in the washing machine. My breath was coming and going in great ragged gasps. I was almost squirting sweat from every pore in my body, plastering my boxer shorts to my ass. I even removed my shoes and put them in the washer. My heart was pounding out of my chest, sweat burning my eyes.
The downstairs lights turned on and my wife was there, clutching a robe around her nude body. " What are you DOING ? " she asked, her face a mask of worry. I did what any red-blooded pervert being pursued by a guy with a gun would do. I faked a heart attack. She called 911.
Minutes later, blue and red lights flashing, the paramedics had me on a gurney , asking me the same questions over and over. I began back-tracking my story, claiming to feel better. A police car pulled up, about the same time a guy walks up with a flashlight. The guy walks right in the middle of the paramedics and asks, " He ain't gun shot is he ? " They told him, " Please get back, sir ! " The guy moved a couple of feet and said, " I caught a prowler behind my condo and shot at him. " The cop had walked up and said, " So, you're the one doing all the shooting ? Come over to my car ! " As I was placed in the ambulance, I heard the guy say, " I got a permit ! "
My faked heart attack ended up costing me way more than a peeping-prowling charge would have. The ambulance ride alone broke the bank, let alone the overnight stay in the hospital "for observation" and x-rays and doctor consultation. But, the memories ? Priceless !