Porn is Trumping Reality
I’m a 25 year old woman. When I was a teen my room was right next door to my brother’s and I would hear him jerking off all the time to his porn videos. A couple of times I snuck into his room when he wasn’t there just to watch some of the porn to see what all the fuss was about. I didn’t get it. I thought it was incredibly stupid. But then, being female, I just chalked it up to not being visually aroused by such things.
But lately I find myself watching porn on my own. I especially like gay male porn. I love watching guys fuck each other in the ass and sucking each other off. I also like group male/female porn videos and often fantasize about being at a party and randomly fucking guy after guy. I don’t masturbate - at least not WHILE I’m watching the videos - that usually comes (or cums) afterward.
I have sex occasionally with dates (male) and I usually get off thinking about something I saw in one of the videos. That usually tells me that I’m not that into the guy who is ACTUALLY fucking me. But I’m worried that I may NEVER get off while having actual sex. The porn videos are far from reality and I doubt I’ll ever be naked in a crowd of people in a living room somewhere with a dick in every hole of my body. And I doubt any of the guys I date would consent to fucking another guy just so I can watch.
Anyone else go through this dilemma?