I think I want to get raped...

I'm a girl, and I'm currently 22. During the earlier years of highschool I turned down all the boys who asked me out because I didn't feel I was ready for a relationship, nor was there anyone I felt particularly attracted to. When I was 16 I was molested by an older man around 30 to 40 years old. I was scared at the time, but I got over it in a couple weeks. Fast forward a few years later, I am now 18 (and now with some sexual experience) and close to graduating highschool, another old man age between 40 and 50 years old molested me during the last week before I finished school. It took about 30 minutes for my train trip to school and he molested me the entire time. Most of the girls (myself included) wore short skirts that showed off our thighs, and unbuttoned the top 2 buttons of our shirt, which was easy for a molester to take advantage of. You might say that it was revealing, but a lot of girls did it. Anyway, I think this man was targetting me as from monday to friday of that week, he had molested me every single day. I tried resisting, but not once did I actually call him out on it. I felt really ashamed that I was turned on by him molesting me. Since I graduated however, I never saw him again. A couple of weeks after that, I went with a friend to a party (which was hosted by my friend's friend so I didn't know them). The party was quite large and was obvious that there were gatecrashers. As I Was talking with my friend, 2 men who were significantly older than the majority of people at the party approached us and basically asked my friend and I to go to their place. We both turned them down, and they quickly moved on to ask other girls, but not before giving me an annoyed look. After a few hours, my friend said that she would stay for the night, so I decided to head on home. I decided to pass by a park for a bit. The park was actually really large, and would take about 5 to 10 minutes to walk from one end to another. The two older men from earlier seemed to have followed me, as I had recognized one of them from their shirt which was the only one at the party that had many colours, furthermore he was fat which made it more memorable. They asked me once again, but when I refused they began harrassing me. There was no one else near the park, so they took the initiative and began to forcefully strip me. I screamed at first, but the traffic drowned out most of the sound, furthermore there wasn't even anyone near to hear it. They also threatened to hurt me to stop my screaming. They called me many demeaning things then dragged me to the mens toilet and then raped me. I don't know how long it was but they just left me on the floor of the mens toilet and naked and just left. Now I am 22, I still haven't told anyone about any of this. Ever since I was raped, I have fantasies of it happening and I even go out of my way to be molested by men, particularly older men. I wear revealing clothes and stand or sit close to older men so that they would molest me. Most of the time they would just pretend to brush against me so that they could cup a quick feel and it rarely ever went beyond that. I haven't exposed myself to a situation to get raped, but I'm beginning to get more and more thoughts of doing so. What do people think that I should do? Should I meet up with someone online who wants to rape me? What is the safest way to get raped?

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  • No you don't, you want to be made love to uncontrollably. You want someone you know to fulfill some fantasy of yours but you will be able to say stop.
    Trust me when you say no, stop over and over while your clothes are still being ripped off and your being held down by three total strangers your fantasy will go right out the window. I am a survivor and probably have a unique view on sex, I was not looking for it to happen, I was not drunk and flirting with guys at a frat party. I was walking home from class just like I had done for two years. I do not even think they were necessarily looking for me, I was just the one who walked into their trap.
    I was shoved into the side door of a van and a short time later dragged into a house where until early morning I was forced into sexual positions beyond my thoughts then dropped off like garbage four blocks from where I was taken.
    I still have the memory but I have not let it ruin my life and in a way I was pretty lucky because I was not physically injured. I do not ever want it to happen again though so do not get me wrong. I tell very few people that it even happened to me, my husband knows and one close friend from childhood but other than the police and hospital personnel no one knows. I am very sexually active and even like being pushed to limits still. I like bondage, I love oral, I love being explored and I love sex so I still think of myself as lucky to have survived it but I would not wish it on anyone.

  • I want to lick your pussy while my man chokes you with his cock after we tie you up like a breeding cow of course

  • I think you're a guy rock'n a fantasy. Enjoy your jerking!

  • Yep yep

  • I would love to meet and have a pretend rape and treat you like a dirty little slut while I rip your clothes off.

  • Why pretend?

  • There’s no safe way. Just go out to a cheap bar and get drunk, stumble around, go to a frat party. I understand, I go without a bra on the subway to entice perverts to touch.

  • Thank you for your honesty. I wish I could meet you and make your fantasy become reality; but I (almost certainly) don't live anywhere nearby.

    The reason I'm replying is because I had a molesting fantasy; but didn't want to go to jail, nor did I ever enjoy hurting a girl, physically or emotionally. I put an ad on craigslist asking for someone wanting and willing to be felt up by a stranger. Predictably; I got loads of spam and fakes, but then I got a reply that sounded honest. She was real. We exchanged replies on how things would be: Daytime meeting, we set boundaries (no fucking, no ejaculating, stop means stop, no names, etc) and set it up. Believe me: This is completely true.

    I was blown away. She met me and we did as outlined in our discussions. I complimented her on her hair and clothes, and her beautiful eyes. I stroked her hair as I stood behind her then ran my hands down to her bum and caressed it, she played along, saying 'What are you doing", I said "Well it's so beautiful I couldn't resist' then ran my hands up her front and kneaded her breasts slowly, she was bra-less. I lifted her shirt as she started breathing heavily and her nipples became erect. The sensation was amazing, and when I lowered my right hand and ran it over her crotch she let out a little "Oh". I unbuttoned the jeans she was wearing and slid my hand down to her vagina so wet and penetrated her gently as she began to rock her hips slowly. we were both blissful as I finger-fucked her, I asked if she wanted deeper, she said yes, so I obliged. My left hand was now on her back-door so I asked if more pressure there was ok, she said yes. I entered her there too, gently, it wasn't hard to do at all because she was so wet, and with two fingers in her vagina and one in her rear-end she panted, shuddered and buckled in orgasm. Amazing.

    I hope something similar happens for you, and thank you again for your honesty. You are not alone in desiring sex with a stranger.

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