I think i'm properly fucked up
My story is a long one but i'll try and keep it as short as i can. First off i'm into a lot of kinky shit. I first touched my pussy when i was about 3 or 4, my first orgasm was at 5 years old. As i got older i developed a variety of kinks. When i was 12 i was about ready to have sex but didn't do it until 14 probably because in the back of my mind it sounded wrong and taboo to be doing it at such a young age. I always wanted it to be with someone older than me, it makes me wet even now when i think about it. In a way i regret not doing it when i was younger. I'm not a pedophile, i'm not sexually attracted to children but whenever i've seen "teen" porn or just generally girls who look underage i always wanted to be them.
Currently i'm 24 and in a relationship with a really sweet guy but something's off and i'm still not satisfied, he's probably too vanilla. I troll around some subreddits and get off on being submissive and doing everything they say. I even have rape fantasies. It almost happened to me once and i was scared out of my mind but ended up disappointed when he gave up and let me go. I went home and masturbated that day i was so wet even though it was the scariest thing i've ever experienced. Also i've even considered looking for videos of real rape or real teens but the only thing that's stopping me is knowing that not all of them might be as willing as i was and am now.
-fucked up in the head