Im finally going to try dick in a few days

My english is not good pls forgive
Right now I should be studying, but I have been so horny all day that I can't focus. I am a 20 yeard old guy im mediteranean and athletic and girls liked me , i have been with many of them. But they have never made me so wet and horny as when I watch shemale porn. All I can think about is sucking dick. The urges get stronger when Im stressed. Ive been watching shemale porn for the past 2 years in secret. None of my friends know that Ive been jerking off while imagining getting deepthroated by a delicious shemale cock.At this poing I would even go with a guy if he was hot and noone would know.Some nights, around 3-4 times, Ive evened fantasized about sucking a young guys big black dick and came in 10 seconds.The weird thing is that I only feel like this sometimes usually when im tired or stressed. But when I do, i cant get the image of a dripping hard cock from my mind. Shemales look like godesses to me because they have the girly look and also a dick.
I found an escort that looks nice and after edging all day I got her phone number and I decided to go for it and ask her to treat me like a girl. Ill go see her in a couple days when im done with some work.
I cant believe i would ever ask someone to fuck me but I cant take it anymore, the urge is so intense. Sex with girls doesnt do shit for me, it never did. Maybe im more feminine by nature, but again , not always.

Any thoughts? Anything small comment would be appriciated , im alone in this.

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