I gave my best friend a blow job... (Advice please)

Backstory first...
My best friend is 100% straight male, I am somewhat bi also male, but I am not interested in dating guys.. I'm only sexualy interested, but rather date women. We are both in our 20's and I have a girlfriend.. he recently broke up with his.
He knows I am bi-curious and accepts it but when he gets really drunk, he would joke about it and tell me to suck his dick. But I always ignored him and tell him to fuck off or that hes not my type. I never saw him in a sexual way, and it always creeped me the fuck out when he would ask that. Especially considering he's somewhat homophonic at the same time...

However, one night we both got really drunk cause he was going through a lot of stuff recently, and decided to watch some straight porn together. We enjoyed the hot girls getting it on in the video, but I was so drunk that I asked him jokingly if he needed help, and he said "yes...." And he showed me his dick... I was sort of shock... But so drunk that I didn't give a fuck anymore so I jacked him off for a bit, he eventually moved his dick towards my face and put it in my mouth. I blowed him for maybe 10 or 20 minutes, to only have him pre-cum a bit... Mind you, we were so exhausted and drunk that I eventually stopped and fell asleep and so did he.

Next morning, I woke up in shock in memory of what I did.. and I was super overwhelmed, and hungover...
Confused, I didn't know what to say, I felt like I cheated, and did something horrible.. we didn't talk about it so I headed back home and for days now we just pretend like it never happened...

Weirdly enough.. I sort of liked it, because it was my first time ever doing anything sexual with another man... however, I never wanted it to be my best friend... I hated myself for what we did.. idk if I am a bad person.. or if this is normal.
It's overwhelming still, and I wish we can talk about it.. but I don't want to ruin our friendship... he is like family to me, nothing more nothing less, and in no way am I attracted to him emotionally or physically.. I still rather fuck a girl, or receive blow jobs from a female.. but I sometimes do have sexual urges to give a blow job.... That's why I consider myself bi-curious.

We've been cool so far these past few days and it seems he either doesn't remember or he just doesn't want to talk about it...
Is this normal?
Does anyone have an experience like this?
What would you do..?
Any advice..? I dont want him to feel bad..

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  • Blow him again and swallow his load.

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