I wear diapers, wet and mess in them, and masturbate to gay porn

I'm a 40 y/o male. I have a gf, identify as straight, but am closeted a bisexual. I also have a diaper fetish that I've had for years. No one knows about any of it. When I wear diapers, I like to use them what they're intended for. I wet them and then mess in them. I then sit down in my messy diaper and squish everything all over my ass. Then I'll sit in my shitty diaper and masturbate to gay porn. Sometimes I'll open the diaper and play with my shit, smearing it all over me while jacking off. And even sometimes I'll fuck myself in the ass with a dildo while all this is going on. The orgasm is intense, but the whole thing is twisted and weird as hell.

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