It's your sex I can smell

I want to be savagely beaten. I want him to hit me, I want him to slap me so hard he splits my lip and then while my mouth is filling with blood and my cheek/lip swells I want him to force me to take it in the mouth. I want him to make me do things I don't want to do. I want him to hurt me. Pull my hair, push me down, throw me around. Treat me like worthless garbage.

I want to watch him fuck someone else. I want him to go out and have sex with someone else, come home and let me taste her on him.

I want him to match my outsides with my insides. I want him to bruise me outside as well as inside. I can't take one more second of the lies, of the emotional abuse. Of the passive agressiveness

I get so turned on by the idea of him doing these things and masturbate, cum really hard, and then cry for about 20 minutes because I don't understand how i ended up this way. The reality of this fantasy would destroy me, even if only after the fact. I can't help how badly I want it though and, I want it badly.